The mind wants to heal itself

When I was a child, my imaginary friend was The Big Bad Wolf. He wasn’t big or bad but he did protect me – he looked after me when we went on missions into space, he warned me if he thought a dimension we were about to enter might be dangerous, he hugged me when the world got scary.

At around age 9, I knew it was time to say goodbye. He understood and was as comforting as ever. He reassured me that I was doing the right thing – that I had to commit to ‘reality’ and learn how to be in the world. In short, I was trying to grow up, despite how horrible it felt.

Primary school came to an end, secondary school started, I went through all the teenage dramas and then some. I started 6th Form. Things were still not going so well, I felt like a complete mess, and was very depressed. Then, one morning, on my way to school, walking through the park, no one else around, I felt a presence. I turned around, and sure enough, out of my imagination, popped The Big Bad Wolf (It wasn’t an hallucination or anything like that – it felt no different to when I was little). He told me he’d never stopped watching over me and that he knew, right now, I really needed him. It felt so good to have my old friend back. I was tingling with gratitude and relief. Things didn't magically get better - they were still tough for a long time but having him around eased the pain somewhat.

He continued to help me through the tough times and we’re still in touch to this day.

The point is imagination isn’t just for kids. In fact, as adults, we probably need it more than ever. Yes, it might feel silly and uncomfortable being that childlike but there can be wisdom in innocence. The Big Bad Wolf always represented that part of myself that instinctively knew how to look after me, so when I tap into that, when I ‘talk’ to him, I know I can trust myself.

(Of course, we don’t tend to go scooting off into space anymore, and we have slightly different conversations than we used to, usually over a nice cup of tea. And I don’t call him the Big Bad Wolf anymore – his name is Arthur, Arthur Wolf. He’s a very gentle and erudite wolfman, who lives in a cottage in the woods, and wears corduroy trousers and a waistcoat.)

‘…the mind wants to heal itself… the psyche seeks coherence not disintegration… the mind will manifest whatever is necessary to work on the job.’ – Jeanette Winterson.

Books and films about imaginary friends

• Drop Dead Fred - film directed by Ate de Jong (1991).

• A Monster Calls - book by Patrick Ness (2011) later adapted into a film (2016).
  

• Harvey - play by mary chase (1944) later adapted into a film (1950).